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travel far now

an archive of rants & revelations from life on the road

contrary essays

To 'go-visiting' as a lifelong practice

2/16/2026

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How to play jazz piano. Bake mandel bread. Worship leaves. Evaluate jewels. Teach ESL. Find diamonds in the garbage heap. Skip around the neighborhood. My parents perfected certain life skills not found in textbooks, and they let us watch them take it to the max.
​

My father was playing music until about two weeks before he made his cosmic transition—making notecards of his favorite tunes in black ink, the titles underlined in red. My mother was still taking mental inventory of her jewelry collection as she lay dying in a hospital room in Sarasota. She was obsessed with getting home to sort through it. She never made it home, but we told her not to worry. And we’re still sorting.

To learn to do anything—playing, baking, worshipping, evaluating, finding, skipping, traveling, sorting—as if “playing, intensely, respectfully, joyfully,” that’s an epiphany, writes William Finnegan in his surf memoir, Barbarian Days. I’m not sure, though, that I ever stuck long enough with anything—writing, teaching, traveling, playing guitar, whatever it was my heart thought it wanted—to actually know the depths of a lifelong practice.

Perhaps travel, in the widest sense of the word, is the practice I know best: to walk through the green doors and see what’s on the other side. In that sense, I’ve developed an internal shorthand over the years to enter and leave worlds with the notion that empathy “rests on a paradox,” knowing there’s only so much overlap between self and other. Travel is the gap between these two states.

Philosopher Hannah Arendt writes: “An act of enlarged mentality, thinking about the world from views other than your own, means that one trains their imagination to go visiting.”


Speaking of anthropology, I was adopted once by a group who called themselves scholars and schooled me in their ways of “making the strange familiar.” I edited anthropology essays for a scholarly online magazine. When I started the job, I nervously explained to this group that I had always lived an “anthropology-adjacent” life, that I was “anthro-curious” in my approach. But I’d never earn their full approval—and then the magazine was shuttered.

Those steeped in the study of all things human also have their blind spots and their rules—ones not so closely studied under the magnifying glass of class privilege and powerful vocabularies.

I continue to go visiting, as metaphor and road trip, albeit in smaller sips these days. These are attempts at distancing myself from myself in order to get a little closer, is all, and then I usually write about it. The snippets are objects and subjects, a collage of what’s collected in the mind’s eye. Sometimes they become what others might call art—other passages are just waves that recede back into the mind’s ocean, and that’s a wrap!

All joking aside, I think there’s an anthropologist in all of us if we listen for the one within that asks questions of the world and our place in it. You can study how it works for decades and still not know the word for please and thank you in any language but your own. Moral righteousness in this regard may shield us from actually seeing the world unfolding in real time, beyond the boundaries of books and bargains with the academy.

The best assignment at Harvard—observe the moon for 30 days and keep a journal, thanks to Eleanor Duckworth. I am still studying the moon, with manic yearning on occasion to speak with some authority about the stars. This knowing is felt but not seen, I admit, but it was my devotion to that assignment that made me believe I could look closely at the moon and somehow know it.

I lived on islands with lore that loomed large over the horizon, making it feel sometimes like I would always be the interloper with a camera and a pen. But a few chance encounters with elders made me realize that I would leave this place full of grace and a trove of wisdom from the sages who had survived so much hardship—how did they live through the turning of the century, colonial catastrophe, pulverizing poverty?

The elders crooned and lamented; they rebelled and reveled; they painted and documented. Haji Gora Haji. Bi Kidude. Makame Faki. John Baptist da Silva. They slipped through the halls of revolution with their eyes wide open and made it known what they’d seen, felt, and remembered.

​Transit Slips, #16
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On sea blessings, word worship and finding prayer in poetry

2/15/2026

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​Over the last few years, I've gone to many estate sales across Chicago's North Shore in search of remnants of its collective Jewish past. At one home, a while ago now, I picked up a tiny white book of prayers, blessings and hymns. I love the portable pocket size of this book. The inscription reads, “Presented to Mr. and Mrs. Mandel,” by North Suburban Synagogue Beth El, Highland Park, Illinois, on the occasion of their new membership, Friday, November 17, 1967, signed by the rabbi.

I grew up around many of these prayers and recognized the familiar blessings over bread, fire and wine, ones I recited as a kid. But I was surprised to find unfamiliar blessings over special occasions including:

On seeing a rainbow; At first sight of an ocean or sea; On hearing sad tidings; On eating any fruit for the first time in season; On entering into possession of a new house; On purchasing new dishes; On witnessing lightning; On beholding a falling star, lofty mountains, or vast deserts; On hearing thunder or storms; On smelling fragrant wood or bark; On putting on a new garment.

My father collected leaves until his final days. He kept them in a binder, each glorious leaf protected within a plastic pocket. Every once in a while, he’d point out a particular stunner and well up with tears. His favorites were the fiery yellow fans of the Ginko tree in the autumn. There may not have been a blessing in specifically for fall leaves, but my father felt moved to worship them as worthy of our undivided attention.

Word worship is another kind of wonder we practiced at home, all kinds of word games and puzzles to play as a treat before sleep each night. My father, the English teacher, urged us to think up every homonym and homophone under the sun. Name every word that began with the prefix "tran" or the suffix, "ly," and keep going like we were counting sheep. I remember how the blue pocket thesaurus, its own kind of book of blessings and prayer! It's wild, the way a page can begin with collusion and end with command or revenge and reward.

So many words for mourn and inquire but none feel quite right. I memorized poems in school as long as I wasn’t told to for an assignment.

When I was too young to doubt myself as a poet and walked around telling people I was one, I got a job teaching poetry in public schools. One of my favorite lessons was to ask a room full of kids to stay as quiet as possible for as long as possible up to 30 seconds, and then, as soon as the silence broke, to immediately pick up a pen or pencil and write down everything they heard, felt, saw, and remembered. The result were spectacular—one boy wrote about swimming in the ocean in the rain as a form of “double swimming.”

They’d gone fishing in the silence and plucked out words to make their poems feel like prayer.

​Transit Slips, #15

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On half-here love, proximity, possibility, and praise

2/14/2026

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Once upon a time, I assumed a queen-like status beside a man who lived as a Rastafarian king on the islands of Zanzibar. I towered over him, but that didn’t matter among the hot pink bougainvillea bursting through the bright sunshine on his coastal compound. We were an unlikely pair, formed out of a single utterance one tipsy night in the velvety darkness: “tumpumzishane,” he said—“let’s soothe one another.”

And so began a strange, impossible love affair with a man more legend than discernible fact (at least to me). I noted his mother’s ledge of green plants in metal cans lined up on her verandah in the city, thriving in the tropical heat. I noted his care for the land and his willingness to dole out hours of listening to neighbors as he stroked his scraggly, braided beard in the shade. I noted his soft tones and his exhausted bones, worn down by decades of building bungalows with his own calloused hands.

I also noted, though, his drunken deep dives—days at a time—into pools full of demons, his endless litany of rages and complaints, his incoherent babble in the middle of the night that woke the sleeping dogs, and those tepid apologies days later in the harsh judgment of the morning sun.

I know we tried to love each other in ways that felt familiar, but there was no “we” for the duration—just an I and a You, coordinates in a current constellation in the night sky. I kept mistaking proximity for possibility.

I lost myself in endless reggae playlists. I sipped moringa shakes by the pool, rolling cigarette after cigarette while chatting with the many single Italian mothers who came with their children to swim and splash in the pool (carved in the shape of the continent.) I wore a magenta bathing suit that matched the bougainvillea and tried to forget that I had a self.

Let me say more about all this later, because I want to talk now about a different kind of love I learned on the islands—a Sufi kind of love.

One night, as a freelance journalist covering a famous music festival, I took a long walk down dark, winding roads on the outskirts of Stone Town to a small, unassuming madrasa lit like a lighthouse in the darkness. We arrived at Zizi la Ng’ombe, where men in crisp white kanzu and kofia quickly organized busati (mats) to accommodate the boys and men who would kneel for the Maulidi ya Homu performance.

What transpired was a spellbinding form of dance and praise poetry rooted in Swahili Islamic tradition. Maulidi usually refers to festivities related to the birth of the Prophet Mohammed, but this particular performance--ya homu—is a rare form that invokes the motion of a “steady wind.”

The performance locked me into a percussive trance, the dancers swaying as a collective body, their faces lit, eyes wide with exaltation, cringing or pinged with ecstasy. Sibilant sounds slithered through the song. They moved as one in praise of Allah, a choreographed crescendo of sheer passion.


At its climax, the dancers shuddered and shook on their knees, swooping backward onto their backs and rolling up again into undulating ocean waves of sound. They pounded their fists to the floor, then abruptly lifted themselves, reaching their hands in unison into the air, as if reaching for God’s love, receiving it, and placing it immediately back into the folds of the dance itself.

These Sufi songs felt like "love letters to God," I wrote in my notebook, attempting to describe the slow build, frenzied climax, and gentle release back into the mundane world of the everyday. "The form taps unabashedly into the eros of spirituality, expressing through mind, body, and voice a love much larger than ourselves."

These quotes are borrowed notes from an article I eventually published (the magazine no longer exists) about this experience. All of it still holds true as a snapshot in my body’s memory of what I felt that night, sitting barefoot on the floor of a packed madrasa on the outskirts of town.

Witnessing Maulidi ya Homu dancers changed something in me about the way I want to experience love—of self, God, lovers alike—exaltation and reverence.


I keep thinking about Martin Buber’s notion of the “mysteries of reciprocity.” It’s through the alchemy of relationships that God sneaks in and rearranges the furniture while we’re making dinner in the kitchen. This really only works when I can show up inside myself, however.

So many past loves experienced me as only half-here, and that wasn't fair to me or them. But that’s the way it is sometimes with love-in-becoming.


Happy Valentine’s Day.

​Transit Slips, #14
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On the mysteries of reciprocity and retrograde

2/13/2026

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Wow, what say the stars on connectivity today? I’ve been blocked out & locked out of chambers clanging in the reverb of my name and many passwords. some days are just like this, spent troubleshooting how to break back into your own life.

Luckily, my morning began early with rich descriptions of waves and the wonder of surfer science, followed by a fascinating conversation with a brilliant therapist on the alchemy of handwritten letters. Next, I spoke my truth into the camera, how we women walked to the woods in the middle of winter to celebrate the trees and the coming of the spring, greener days ahead. Then I kept on hacking through the haze of my own confusion when it comes to passwords, passkeys and keywords, past words, key pasts. 

Must be some kind of retrograde. I had to laugh and step away from the insanity and out into the sunshine. 

These moments make me think maybe I don’t want the life i’m trying so hard to crack into, and if restoration is this impossible, then why not just give me lines in an absurdist play and let me walk off stage left in a fit of rage! i do think some of this has to do with signals we can not see yet still channel. it’s Friday and i’m happy my ancestors taught me to remember to unplug.

I read Martin Buber's words about the “mystery of reciprocity," what happens when the "it" becomes an I or even better, a you. What happens when you and I realize that a part of us only exists in the presence of the other. I stay for stories of love—all kinds, failures, fantasies and futures reimagined from its sheer force! 

Long ago in Addis Ababa, I visited a contemporary art gallery and came across the work of artist Fikru Haile. This one is called "Breath," and plays with the visual symbol of a gauge, measuring how much energy one has to make it through the day, a year, a life. I can't make out the meaning of the words in Amharic, but the image alone speaks volumes (to me) today. 

​Transit Slips, #13


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On weddings and witnesses, guests and their gifts

2/12/2026

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I changed into a green vintage dress in the car on the way to my college roommate’s wedding. My friend was driving, and we had all the time in the world to smoke cigarettes and complain about conventional decisions like weddings, but somehow we hadn’t factored in our fashion choices. I remember very little about the wedding except that the bride’s living room was filled with wrapped gifts containing pots, pans, and a blender. I only knew about the groom through the letters she sent from Senegal during the year when most of us studied abroad. “We’re much too young for marriage,” I told my friend in the car, but when we got there, I clocked the gifts and approved fleetingly of this grift.

Several other friends from college got married soon after we graduated and invited me to witness them saying yes to something so uncertain—a future unfolding at the speed of dial-up internet. I traveled to Oregon for one wedding between two friends I really haven’t spoken to since. In Portland, I tried on a gorgeous pair of deep red Lucchese cowboy boots, wore a bright orange wig at a costume shop, and sat close to my college friends on park benches, talking in earnest philosophical whispers as we often did in the late 1990s. I tried to live down the inappropriate decision to wear a white dress to the wedding.

The one and only time I was a bridesmaid was also the last time I ever dyed my hair black. The bride urged me to hide the strands of silver that appeared as early as sixteen. I wore the fancy gown, danced in the crowd on the dance floor, and smiled at her proud parents. My parents also attended in a rare public sighting as a pair. But after I came home, I took off that satiny black-and-white dress, flung off my bra, and noticed makeup stains left from the blush they made me wear. I later donated that dress to Goodwill, thinking rightly that I’d never have another reason to wear it.

I tried on a wedding dress once only because my mother brought home several she acquired from another thrift store and wanted me and my sisters to wear one. The dress I tried on slipped off at the shoulders, and I ran around the house in a floppy ponytail, taking long looks at myself in the bathroom mirror. I couldn’t see myself getting married then, in my mid-20s, or ever, even though I must have imagined it at least once or twice when I was younger. I think I was even engaged for a summer.

Some weddings made me wonder why I was ever invited. It feels strange that I’d witness such a life-changing event and then never hear from or see these friends again in the long arc of a life. But other weddings are postcards you send back to yourself in the middle of things when you’re trying to remember that life is worth celebrating.

Like the fine lace latticed on the dress of my beautiful friend married in Italy. That stunning fruit torte with fresh cream, her parents smiling in smart attire, glasses clinking, the terrace, the pool, the church. Like my best friend in her burnt orange silky jumper at her wedding in the woods, sunlight streaming through the forest at dusk, a field of green grass, me and my niece prancing as the guests over there kept dancing, a gathering of resistance, of parachute dreams, remembrance. We got iced coffees on the way home; it was a good day’s work, to celebrate friends who had taken steps in their lives to insist on another day of love.

Transit Slips, #12
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On holy translation, radical teaching and caring for rabbits

2/11/2026

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In kindergarten, I was the keeper of the rabbits. During winter break, I carried the twitchy-nosed pair home in their metal cage and took care of them for two weeks. I always think it’s because I was the tallest person in my class that made my teacher entrust me with the rabbits. And I also trace this moment back to my earliest memories of hitching my worth to how well I could handle my responsibilities.

This snowballed into intense anxiety about getting good grades and excelling in school, eager to please my teachers by anchoring the line, turning off the lights, stepping up as the companion to kids bullied by everyone else. I spent the entire day at an amusement park with Galit for this reason. She needed a friend and my teachers assigned me to her as a companion. It was a long and lonely day with way too much sunlight on my freckled skin.

To this day, I aim for straight A's and 5-star reviews. So ridiculous. Triste mai vrai. 


Yes, I pressed pennies on the train tracks and hung out under the viaducts, waiting for boys with wallet chains and cigarettes to appear like saints in the parade of my middle-school fantasies. I puffed on a few cigarettes and curled up in the dark with one in particular, his parents were going through a difficult divorce, which made it feel like neither of us had parents, mine bickered and then they went silent. I spent a lot of time at parks in the summertime, lugging around 19th century poetry books to impress myself and any kind of god watching down on me.

Our whole lives are spent in translation, converting words, turning over stones, transferring the water of our memories from one bucket to the other. I learned to decode Hebrew in a dingy basement synagogue but it wasn’t the kind that led me to modern poetry, only to the burning bush. I spent hours pacing the desolate parking lot in the freezing cold winter, waiting for my father to pick me up. He was often late, but he came with sliced challah from the local bakery. Italian beef sandwiches steaming in a yellow basket was another version of a formal apology.

The first time I read real literature in translation was in high school. Milan Kundera: “The Unbearable Lightness of Being,” and “The Book of Laughter and Forgetting.” Gabriel Garcia Marquez, “100 Years of Solitude.” Just the titles alone made my heart seize up with longing to find a new language for my budding pain! I’m so glad my teacher Ann Goethes assigned these texts to us. Bumping into her at a pro-choice rally downtown when I was 15 felt like an initiation and a pact with a feminist future. I felt seen.

Around this time, I read the bible from cover to cover. I was raised in a reform Jewish home in Skokie, with parents whose holy spaces were more prairie and flea market than temple. But I took a class on the bible as mythology, taught by a man named Barry Deardorf, who used to be a reverend, and we read through each and ever miracle and mishap as myth. I didn’t realize how radical this teaching was until much later, when it was much easier and more obvious to question everything.

Transit Slips, #11
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On traveling without a plan, with many voices

2/10/2026

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After graduation, I needed money to visit my sister in Morocco. A temp agency placed me in human resources at a local hospital, where my job was to make photo identification cards for new employees. I sat in a dull gray room at a desk reading novels while waiting for the next person to arrive. I’d situate the person against a wall and tell them to smile. Most of the time, they wouldn’t, but every now and then, a person’s face would break into a huge smile that made us both giggle like little kids.

I am the poet laureate of my past. Verses vie for my attention in water color blotches of recollection. Like that time, and that other time.

I’m at a Halloween party with my sister in Fez, a living room full of peace corps volunteers wearing wigs and glitter. I wander into the crowded kitchen for a drink. I recognize a man I met in another city and we gravitate toward each other like magnets until we’re the nucleus of the orb of this moment. He takes my hand and leads me outside to get some air and we dance like we know something about ballrooms. A camera placed on a window ledge gets stolen.

I didn’t know what to do with my life so I stayed in Morocco for months, living with my sister in the High Atlas, visiting friends in different cities and villages. I kept a little notebook of songs and observations. The only road to her village was a brutal ride that switched and wound up in a cluster of clay homes crammed into the mountains. I remember throwing up more than once off the side of the truck full of men and their goats, who brayed with what I felt could only be compassion for the sick foreigner.

Can we break up with a language? And if I can’t recall it, did I ever really know it? I barely knew Arabic, never spoke French, learned to read and write Hebrew as a kid expected to perform incantations. But I did throw myself into Swahili with some seriousness. I started learning the noun classes in college at the age of 20 and once more at the age of 33. Who was she, speaking through that alphabet of coast and clove?

Poets and writers talk a lot about voice—how to find it and use it, speak with some sense of authority through it. But we’re also many people and parts inside a single life. So when I write a letter, my voice is one verse. And when I leave a message, my voice is another. As if the voice is an ocean with different kinds of weather and waves. I’m funny but I’ve also been told I’m as a “serious as a graveyard,” so yes, I guess how you know me depends on where we met and what I knew about myself just then.
​

Transit Slips, #10
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On reading waves and cracking open words like an egg

2/9/2026

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On winter weekends, my father would drop me off at the ice skating rink with a ten dollar bill and I stayed there the entire day, skating in circles under bright lights with my best friend, B96 blasting hits. I wasn’t a great skater, but I came for the chewy pretzels slathered in hot, gooey cheese, eaten on paper plates with plastic knives and forks around a crackling fire pit. We had very little supervision in those days but all the time in the world to obsess over boys and lace our skates as tight as possible so we didn’t slip on the ice.

I learned to sing folk songs at summer camp and saw my soul mirrored back to me in the key of Joni Mitchell, and company. So I begged my parents to sign me up for lessons at Guitar Works when I was 14. My mother reluctantly bought me an a gorgeous acoustic guitar but somehow, that act of faith in me crushed my will to practice. It felt like a jinx of sorts. I’d feel so cool lugging my guitar in its black case on the bus to and from my lessons with a guy named Brian with John Denver round wire glasses on his face, but I couldn’t stay loyal to the pursuit and my fingers burned with the cuts of trying.

Yesterday, I went to a local diner with my boyfriend and we stopped in the lobby to buy girl scout cookies at a little table set up by a few girl scouts and their enthusiastic mothers. I noticed the patches on their vests and felt a pang of sorrow for the girl scout in me who earned so many patches but never saw them fastened to my sash. I collected so many patches for my good deeds and tasks, but I didn’t have that kind of mother. Of course, we forgive our dead mothers for their mishaps, but I envied all the girls whose patches made it to their sashes.

I’m reading this book about surfing and one idea keeps washing over me, the notion that to ride a wave you have to learn to read a wave. That requires a “close, painstaking study of a tiny patch of coast.” A wave is a guitar is a poem. No matter where we choose to fix our gaze, we must learn to pay attention to the “innumerable subcortical perceptions too subtle and fleeting to express,” and then find a way to express it.

Sometimes a pair of words will pop up in my mind like floaters. Coated, coded. Enormous, anonymous. I usually just plop them on some platform and forget about them, but really I should be cataloguing these little gems. Word play is a more subversive game than it looks; writers untangle knots and open boxes; writers slice into a cake and then they bake it; writers crack open a word like an egg and out comes its bright yellow yolk asking if it’s the sun.
​

Transit Slips, #9
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On writing, teaching and questions without deadlines

2/8/2026

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My father was a teacher so I was a teacher, perhaps the same way a shoemaker’s daughter learns to love leather. I was grading high school English papers under the dim light of the kitchen table by the time I was 10. My father gave me a red ink pen to circle grammatical errors on his students’ handwritten essays and I spotted them easily, winning frosted apple squares as compensation for my time.

I’ve been following a jagged path for a while now, though if I have to stick to a story, I’ll mention writing, teaching and traveling as a trio of themes that have kept me ticking since I was a little kid. I made magazines, bound books, performed poems, spoke soliloquies, tied my worth to words and the nesting-doll effect of their power. Watch what I can do, said the little magician within.

Later, I had to figure out how to make money. I learned to pay attention to the world around me even as it flew right past me. Some of my earliest gigs involved serving drinks at a country club to rich people with gold-toned buttons fastened all the way to their necks. I’d punch into work with a timesheet each shift hoping to see Flores, a short guy with rosy cheeks who washed dishes in the kitchen. His name meant “flower,” and I loved this detail. That whole summer was a crash course in crushes.

I heard rumors that Flores slept on the floor in a dorm with a group of other seasonal workers from Mexico that summer. I didn’t understand what any of this meant but I took notes on these unjust circumstances and wanted more information. There are all kinds of reasons why people don’t talk or if they do, they’ll tell you a tale so tall it obscures the more painful truths unfolding. Flores was fine for the time being, as long as I didn’t interfere.

​First, I was a poet. Then I was a teacher. Next, a journalist.

Zanzibar gave me the courage to ask questions and attempt to translate answers across great distances. When a stuffed passenger ferry sank, I started taking notes. Hundreds of bodies washed ashore. When the “radical” imams got arrested and thrown into prison, I tried to get the story. Prison guards shaved their heads and beards to humiliate them. When the fishermen battled sea turf for octopus, I went to the field to observe. I still remember how they slapped the living creatures against rocks to kill and tenderize their bodies.

How little I knew then about what happens to a story when you try to hold it, how it slips through one’s fingers like water.


I slow-drifted into journalism and now I’m swimming my way back out of those waters. As a poet, questions contain the seeds of something green—the imagination is all about audacious metaphor, the power to pair two disparate things and find a connection between them. This creates a “felt infinity” inside the poem, at least, and sometimes extends to life itself.

As a journalist, questions often create more conflict than clarity. If I ask a question, the assumed story already looms so large between us, there’s little room for anything else but the obvious answer. I can usually tell when someone’s lying to me, though. In a poem, the lie is it its own truth. In a story, it’s a stone wedged between reader, writer, and source.

A question without a deadline sets us all free.

#Transit Slips, #8​
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Chaos, creativity, and remembering to forget

2/6/2026

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Chaos unlocks creativity. Every morning, I’ve been obsessed with folding Victorian-era “secret letters.” I always get stuck at the same stage of the process, the second to last moment when the folds feel their way to a rightness and reveals itself. I’m learning that it only comes together if I don’t think too hard about it. Folding paper is a kind of mental yoga. The beginner’s mind is a fine place to dine on humility and awe.

Deep inside, I’m convinced that creativity is inextricably linked to survival, our ability to get through another day or disruption and dissolution, the promise of making something new from the ruins. I became a teacher at the age of 10. My first student was my little sister, who let me teach her lessons in the school I opened in our basement. I assigned homework, designed curricula, evaluated our mutual progress.

Now I think I may need to open another basement school for these underground days. I’m mourning the dissolution of every line and boundary that once defined my interests and life path—poetry, education, travel, language, culture, humanities—all crushed by the currents of this present, historical moment. I know I’m not alone in the casting out or returning within, I have faith in subjective curiosity.

Zanzibar was a relationship with the wind more than anything or anyone else. I fell in love—twice—but love was a condition of the wind. On walks with friends along the shore, my whole body pressed against the sky to take another step, and if I looked down, all I could see were my hennaed feet rooted firmly in the sand, hoping to remain upright against the blue waves. There on the beaches of Bwejuu I had many talks about the illusion of belonging anywhere for too long.

Life exposes us to the “mutable fury of things,” a line I take from “My Brilliant Friend,” by Elena Ferrante. In the book, she’s recollecting the first time she walks with her father to the sea on the shores of Napoli, how the wind slapped her clothes against her body, how the mesh of lights and sounds made it hard to capture the moment. I like anyone who helps me learn how to situate in a place and tell about its particularities. 

Tell me again how any of us find ourselves anywhere and claim it was destined? Born one place, flung another—high atlas, deep cave, scraggly cliff, disco dance floor, classroom full of kids, southern exposure, mountain towns, haunted hallways—I can’t name them all. But all writing is a kind of time travel and I’m learning to take you with me—writer as tour guide—memory as map.

The thing I’ve noticed so far about aging, though, is that elders care less about what they remember than about what they feel and what they make. All the greats I’ve observed kept making art, singing their hearts out, banging on the piano, scribbling their notes, until their number was called and they made their cosmic transitions. What if it’s about remembering less and making more up as we go along?

Sometimes I don’t like where my mind takes me in the maze, but I remain loyal to the assignment I’ve given myself this month, to write what comes to me in conversation with the texts I read, and share them with as little interference from the critic within. The morning has disappeared and I’m still here listening to birds tweeting in the frozen snow.
​

Transit Slips, #6
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    Essays by Amanda Leigh Lichtenstein is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.

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